I didn’t do any fasting in November. When I miss a month, I try to fast twice in the month following. I started a three-day fast on November 30th, after dinner that night, with the intent that it would be the first of two fasts in December. The night of December 1st, then, was the second night of the fast. While cleaning up various junk mailers in my apartment before bed, I saw an ad that said, “Too much time on our hands.” Instantly, I began singing the obvious Styx song. It stuck with me for several hours, even after I had gone to bed and was trying to sleep.
After an entire night and day of no food, I was getting pretty nuts. My thoughts often get oppressively repetitive and disjointed in that part of the fast. The Styx song was relentless. I was especially hung up on the percussive accented lyric where Tommy Shaw says, “I’VE GOT dozens of friends, and the fun never ends…” I also focused like an OCD laser on the atypical up-beat rhythm that the drummer played for his intro part. Or was it the outro? I kept cycling through the band members, getting them confused with Shaw’s later venture Damn Yankees, with Ted Nugent. Was Jack Blades in Styx? No, one of the Panozzo brothers played bass for Styx. The other brother was the drummer. Chuck and John, right? Was it Chuck or John who died? It was the drummer, whatever his name. From doing some kind of work around the house. Or was that Jeff Porcaro from Toto? Dead drummers from my youth. “Is it any wonder I’m not the president?”
For a good two hours, that’s how things were blasting through my head.
Then I slept. Fitfully. When I wasn’t asleep, I began unconsciously perseverating about…Steve-O. Steve-O? Are you kidding me? Steve-O was known to me only as one of the guys featured in the MTV show Jackass. I never saw the TV show. I saw Jackass: The Movie when it was out in theaters, years ago. That’s the last time I saw Steve-O. I couldn’t even remember what he looked like, as I lay in bed and slowly realized that the name Steve-O had somehow wound its way into some crazy rotation in my fasting brain. How did Steve-O get there? I could look at the junk mailer with its ‘time on our hands’ thing and figure out the Styx connection. But Steve-O…nothing.
What if God was suggesting I should pray for Steve-O? That made at least as much sense as my mind randomly digging up the name Steve-O and featuring it throughout the night. I even had one dream in which I saw something like a window with condensation on it. Someone had taken their finger and written words in the condensation. The only word I could read was ‘steve-o.’
I lurched into prayerful consideration of one Steve-O. In fact Steve-O became the focus of my fast for the remainder of the thing. I prayed some blind prayers, and then I asked God to help me pray as effectively as possible. I figure the best thing in a time like that is for God to reveal how He sees a person or situation.
The following day, I looked around the internet for info about Steve-O. I checked out his page at wikipedia, wondering if there would be a clue as to why I or anyone else would be prompted to pray for him. The wiki revealed a person who was in need of prayer, but not necessarily more or less than any of the rest of us. Then the final section of the text revealed that Steve-O had been arrested for a stunt in August 2015. He was scheduled to serve a month in jail, beginning one week after he showed up in the middle of my fast. That was interesting timing.
I finished my fast, focusing on Steve-O. I’ve continued praying for him off and on this week, as he starts his jail sentence. I’ve been wondering if he’s got too much time on his hands.
Saturday morning, December 6
I am abruptly aware of a force pressing down onto and into me. I see a graphical illustration of the phenomenon: there’s a straight horizontal line, which bends down and in, as something above the line exerts pressure at the center. At the same time I hear what I think are drums playing. Toms only. For just a fraction of a second. Then I see a full-blown text vision (TV), with a variety of presentations. I am aware that I haven’t seen a full TV in months. There’s a comforting familiarity and consistency to the thing. During this particular vision, and in roughly this order, I see:
1) the aforementioned animated diagram.
2) A white background with black text, and the text is arranged in a cross shape. I can’t see if there’s anything spelled out in the text.
3) A bright and light blue background, like a computer desktop using the brightest bluest option in the old Microsoft desktop color pallet. There is text all over that background, in what appears to be a repeating pattern. There may or may not be any actual words spelled out. Notable is the use of a Courier font. I’ve never noticed any particular font in a TV before. The image is vivid, unlike many TV’s, which can tend toward a dark and murky display.
4) A close-up of the same view above, or at least a perspective that shows the letters much larger; emphasizing the crisp display of a black Courier font on the vibrant blue background. I cannot see if anything is spelled out.
The whole thing takes maybe three seconds. In such a brief window and amid the flurry of activity, I ‘know’ that ‘something new’ is moving into me. Whatever that means. I just know it’s true. I try to say the name Jesus. I hear the air leaving my lips and it wakes me up. I’ve been asleep.
There were quite a few interesting aspects of this particular text vision. It’s the first one I’ve had in months. In fact just a few days earlier I’d wondered to God if I’d seen the last of the TVs, since it had been so long since I’d seen one. This was this first text vision to occur in my sleep. Several of the others appeared in close proximity to sleep; but none had been during full-on slumber. The multiple background colors; type arrangements (notably the cross shape); and my distinct awareness of Courier typeface were all new additions to the TV repertoire. The bright computer-like background was reminiscent of the presentation on the morning that I awoke from dead sleep into a text vision with blazing letters that spelled out DESTINY. The audio/visual accompaniment of this recent vision was a new thing, what with the snippet of drums and the graphic representation of downward pressure and delivery. And all of it was summarized in the understanding that I was ‘getting’ something new.
Since that morning I’ve considered the possibilities. If indeed I have been given some ‘thing’, I don’t know it yet. I wonder if it has anything to do with drumming, considering I heard those drums during the vision. I won’t officially play drums again until tomorrow morning. We’ll see if anything unusual happens. Nothing at all seems out of the ordinary, other than I’m a little relieved that the visions still happen.
In the process of putting together this blog post, I found that the post linked above, about DESTINY, is cataloged as item number 1237 in my wordpress universe. Hence the url:
Which is pretty interesting, given the events of this particular post.
I’m not even going to bother being skeptical about things at this point. Something’s up.